Lies
by IRead2MuchManga99
Summary: There are the lies we tell ourselves and the lies we tell others, usually for the greater good. Sakura doesn't what she should call what she just said. Is a partial truth still a lie?
1. Chapter 1

**AN : This is something different. Hope you enjoy it.**

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"I love you Naruto." She was surprised that the words even came out. She was able to lie to the blonde as long as she told herself that it was for his own good. She was able to look him in his eyes and lie.

There was a pause and she reached out to grabbed his hand. Her fingers weaving through his own as she smiled at him with pure admiration. She did truly admire him. He was brave, kind, and didn't seem to have a selfish bone in his body even after all he went through. He was just a great person.

She heard the talk of how great everyone thought he was now as she worked in the field hospital. How people planned to declare their love for him the moment they saw him. She only barely stifled her laughter at the ones who said that.

She might be lying but at least she knew Naruto. Knew how sweet he was. How kind he was. She knew his faults like he knew hers. They didn't see any of it. Just the glorified version of him they had painted in their mind. The hero they only now knew him to be. Even their hero was wrong though.

They thought he walked on the air.

She knew he was more likely to trip over his own two feet.

They thought he was fearless.

She had seen him freeze up on their first C-Rank.

They thought he was invincible.

She had healed too many cuts and bruises to think so.

They thought he was brave.

She had seen him come back and save them from Orochimaru in the Forest of Death.

They thought he never gave up.

She knew it.

They thought he was a prodigy.

She still remembered seeing him struggle to master tree walking.

She knew a part of her did love him. It was truly impossible not to once you got to know Naruto. It was mostly as a friend though. For being there for her even if he was hurting too. For infecting her with his smile when she thought her own was gone.

But some part of her truly loved him. He was too great not to.

But that love hadn't outgrown the other. She was trying to force it to. Trying to stretch it over her heart and make herself believe it had. Make him believe it had. She needed him though. She couldn't let him kill himself over a stupid promise he had made years ago. He had already taken a beating for it. A promise neither of them had truly thought through before making it. She would have never made him swear to it if she knew it would make him do this.

No this had to end. She needed him to stop. For both of them. If he died trying to keep that stupid promise?

She would die.

Shatter into thousands of pieces from losing him.

Wilt and wither away like the all of the tree she was named after eventually did.

She just wouldn't be able to go on knowing she would never see him laughing and smiling again.

Maybe that was true love. Not being able to go on without the other person by your side. Losing your purpose and reason for living after they're gone. Everything seeming harder. The simple tasks looking to be impossible. The harder ones sometimes not even thinkable.

Yes, maybe that was what true love was.

How would she know? All she had was a stupid crush from when she was a stupid little girl and this 'confession' now.

Maybe she would figure it out later? Would this lie slowly becomes the truth the longer she lived it? Would her love for Naruto actually grow? Could she stop trying to force it to cover her heart eventually? Let it go and see that it didn't shrink back down?

Only time would tell.

"What's wrong with you Sakura?" Her thoughts stopped and she barely felt him slide his fingers free of her own. Now a gentle hold on her wrists. "Why are you lying to yourself like that?"

Everything froze for her then. She saw the disbelief mixed with concern in his eyes and almost let out a scream. It thankfully got caught somewhere in her throat.

'No! No! No!'

He needed to accept. He needed to be selfish just this once. Stop being so good just this once. Go against your nature. Just accept the 'confession'. Believe the lie. It's going to help them both. Not just her.

She didn't want him to look at her with concern like that. It made her stomach twist when he did. Let her know how wrong this was.

Why couldn't he be like other guys and simply accept it no questions asked. He couldn't do this! He would kill himself. All over that stupid promise!

"You love Sas-"

She couldn't let him say that name. No matter what he couldn't say that name. It couldn't happen. It would make something else burst out of her heart. Make everything she had done pointless. It would only keep him on his path of destruction.

She honestly wasn't thinking straight when she did it. One moment he's holding her hand and the next she moves.

She breaks his grip on her arm with ease and throws herself at him. He looks shocked. That's all she can see before she closes her eyes.

Closes her eyes and covers his mouth with her own. Grabs the side of his face and holds him there as she tries to make him believe. Make herself believe.

This isn't a lie, it's the truth.

He tenses when she does it. He must've thought that she would hit him or something else. But she couldn't do that anymore. She couldn't treat Naruto like that. He's still tense as she kisses him.

A terrible thought enters her mind then. What if he throws her off of him? Tosses her to the ground where the trash like liars belong?

She drives it away by driving her tongue into his mouth. She needs to convince him. Needs to make him see. He can't keep going like this. He can't! He'll kill himself. She couldn't handle it. She couldn't lose him.

He's been frozen this entire time. He hasn't moved. She slowly opens her eyes. Green eyes, filled with love and admiration, looked into blue eyes, filled with confusion. She was close. She slowly pulled her lips off of his own. Laying her head on his chest and wrapping her arms around him. She could hear his heartbeat. It was going crazy. But the rhythm relaxed her anyway. It was Naruto's heartbeat. He was still alive. Still here. She was holding him. Gently, keeping her monstrous strength at bay.

"I. Love. You. Naruto." She made sure he heard each word and waited.

Waited for what he would do. For what he would say.

She felt his arms wrap around her waist then. She looked up to him, the hope in her green eyes impossible to miss.

'Just say it. Just say it.'

She had bet it all like her sensei did so many times. But she didn't want her sensei's luck. She needed to win. Losing was damning them all. Damning them all to the worse hell. What else could a life without Naruto be?

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Nothing about what was happening made sense. Sakura was confessing to him. Him. He didn't know if he should be happy or confused. She couldn't love him. She loved Sasuke.

But the look in her eyes.

It was like she actually loved him.

Why now though? He couldn't deal with this now. He needed to head towards the Kage Summit. Get the Raikage to forgive Sasuke. He couldn't let him be hunted down.

The look in her eyes froze him though.

For everything Jiraiya told him about woman he didn't say what to do when a girl you've loved for years comes out and says she loves you. Nothing he talked about could help him here. He was just so confused really. The last week of his life had been crazy.

He had finished his sage training, fought Pain, almost died, met Nagato, and somehow got everyone brought back to life. And that was just one day. Then came the rebuilding and the celebrating and then the team from Kumo had shown up, demanding information on Sasuke. The beating that was only stopped because of Sai and then taking off after the Raikage. He hasn't truly rested for a while and now he had this. He didn't know what to do. Maybe if he just got some sleep he could handle this better? No, this wasn't something he could put off.

Sakura had acted the same since he got back from talking to Nagato. They were still friends. But even he had given up on her ever returning his feelings. He had stop thinking about her like that a while ago anyway.

Wait there was that hug she gave him when he came back. She had never hugged him like that before. She looked so relieved that he was back.

No. Everyone was happy then. Pain's attack might've destroyed the village but Nagato's sacrifice saved the people. She just hugged him because he was there. It wasn't anything major. She was happy and everyone was happy.

But none of that helped him understand this. Nothing could. Neither of his sensei could help him now and he felt like they wouldn't anyway. They would probably find it funny instead of trying to help him.

Still he thought about Sakura and how they had changed over the years. They were both so different.

He couldn't focus on the past though. It had to be the here and now. And right now Sakura was looking at him like that and the way she held his hand felt so nice. It was soft and gentle, something he hadn't seen a lot from the pink haired girl. She had always been pulling him along when she grabbed his hand, trying to get them somewhere.

But now?

It was so gentle. So soft. The way she looked at him was something he hadn't seen in her eyes before.

Because she always looked at Sasuke with those eyes. But now she was... Now he knew why this was so confusing. What had been nagging at the back of his mind. Who he was chasing the Raikage for. Who he had taken the beating for. Why he could still feel the bruises from the Kumo kunoichi's hits. He swallowed at what he was going to do but he had to do it.

"What's wrong with you Sakura?" His mind quickly made itself up, the mental jolt making him see things clearly, and his hands freed themselves from her gentle grip and he was going to put them on her shoulders but somehow he felt holding them would be better if she didn't take what he was about to say well. "Why are you lying to yourself like that?"

He saw the shock going across his face at his refusal but he knew it was the truth. She was lying to herself for some reason. Maybe she had forgotten about it with everything that happened. The reason why everything was happening.

"You love Sas-" his words died off before he could finish his sentence, her actions throwing his mind into a frenzy.

He was startled when she threw herself at him. Fully expecting a hit for denying her like that. He couldn't even say why before her temper got the best of her. He would probably be lucky to have any bones left intact after she was done with him.

He could've understood a punch but a kiss left him practically comatose. Sakura was kissing him. Had thrown herself at him and was kissing him. He could never hide his surprise at something like that. She was kissing him!

The world came back to him as she slowly broke away from him. The look she gave him just before practically floored him. How he was still standing he had no idea. Maybe his mind didn't even know what to do right now.

Then she wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. Saying 4 words that sounded different than last time.

"I. Love. You. Naruto."

This was so weird. So crazy. So nice.

All of this.

The way Sakura looked at him. The way she kissed him. The way she held him even now. All of it felt so nice. All the time he had spent going after him when he was younger suddenly made so much sense. Everything was leading up to this moment. This was what he had been after for so long.

His hands had wrapped around her at some point, he couldn't remember exactly when. He should step back, get his thoughts together. Make sure that he was thinking straight.

But this just felt so nice. He even forgot about the others around them. Maybe they were still there, maybe they left to give them privacy? Naruto didn't know. He just knew that it felt nice to hold her when she looked at him like that. The feeling on his lips from her kiss felt nice.

Maybe this was the truth? Maybe this wasn't her lying to herself?

The only thing he knew for sure was that this felt nice. So nice.

"I love you too Sakura." the words he had practiced so many times when he was younger came out before he could stop it. His mind just said it was right for this moment. He couldn't stop it, he wasn't even sure he would want to.

A voice in the back of his head still nagged him. Told him none of this made sense. But he ignored it.

This was all just so nice. Why try to ruin it?

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 **AN : Neither of them are really thinking straight right now but the title should kind of already tell you that. I think it could go somewhere but what do all of you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: This is still something different. I'm not sure it stacks up to the first chapter but I think it's at least alright. Enjoy.**

 **Responses to the reviews of Chapter 1 are at the bottom.**

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Sakura stared at the fire and thought over what had happened that night as they made camp. She was supposed to be keeping watch but there was nothing here and she needed to think. She needed to just think about everything that had happened. Some of it made her just want to scream while other parts made her want to cry. Gaara had told them everything. Everything that had happened. Everything that Sasuke had done and how Akatsuki had declared war on them all. How Sasuke had tried to kill them all. How far he had fallen. All the damage he had caused. The damage he was willing to cause.

She just wanted to pull her hair out at it all.

She thought she had won. That she had saved Naruto. That he would be safe with her wherever they went.

Then she realized she had her teacher's luck. She thought she could hit the jackpot without the other foot falling. Without the house always winning. Without paying for what she had done.

Gaara had ruined all of it. Sasuke had ruined all of it. Danzo had ruined all of it. This fake Madara, she refused to believe the legendary shinobi was still alive, had ruined it. The Raikage had ruined it. Everyone had just ruined it.

A part of her mind wished that they were all simply gone. That Gaara hadn't come back from the dead in the first place.

"Sakura." Kakashi's voice pulled her from her thoughts as he sat down next to him.

"Kakashi-sensei." The words just flowed out automatically. "We should keep moving."

"We all need a little rest. We're all tired. Maybe a good night's sleep will help us all think some things over. Make sure we aren't doing anything rash." Kakashi glanced at the suddenly still Sakura out of the corner of his eye and leaned back on his elbows. "Yup. I'm sure a nice sleep will do us all some good."

"You can stop Kakashi-sensei." Sakura sighed.

"Stop what?" he tried to innocently ask.

"Please just stop." Sakura hugged her knees to her chest as she stared at the fire. "Please just stop."

The laziness was gone from him as he sat up.

"Sakura." Kakashi put a hand on his student's shoulder. "You need to tell him the truth. What you're doing, it won't help either of you. Both of you will just end up hurt in the end. Don't do this."

Sakura stared at the fire as Kakashi waited for a response.

"I really love him sensei." Emerald looked to grey. "I really do. I love him more than you think I do. He's here with me and he's somehow always smiling. I don't know how many times all I had to do was think of him when I thought I was completely spent training with Hokage-sama. One thought of him out there with Jiraiya-sama and I just knew I had to keep going. He's special like that. I think of him and I'm warm on cold nights. He's just so warm. He's still happy even after everything that happened. After everything people said about him and all the ways that people tried to make his life as hard as they could. He just kept going. Kept picking himself up and laughing. No matter what happened to him, he always managed to get back up like it was nothing. He kept pulling pranks on people and running through the village. Kept coming to class with that stupid grin." Sakura smiled. "Always saying that he loved me. But I," her smile vanished. "I was just after Sasuke. I thought he was so cool. Now I know that he's just cold. What happened to him, it froze his heart." Kakashi tried to speak but Sakura didn't give him a chance. "The few times it looked like he would be warm again when he was with Naruto and me? It just got colder the next time. But we kept trying. I kept blaming Naruto for it." Sakura put her face in her hands. "I was so stupid. Every time I tried to help Sasuke, I always had to run back to Naruto because I was so cold. I was freezing. But I kept thinking that I just needed more time. I always had Naruto there anyway. I was fine going between the two of them as long as I needed until I had gotten Sasuke.

"It took me so long to realize that I just couldn't keep running back to warmth when I got too cold. It's like I was stubborn and thought I could fight off the winter's chill with will alone. When I started to get frostbite I would run back inside to the warmth, maybe add fuel to the fire. But I wouldn't stay. I would be back outside as soon as I could. Each time was worse and worse. And each time the warmth fell a little. But the cold kept getting colder. I stopped fueling the warmth. I started putting it out, thinking I just needed to be cold for him. I was dying. I was going to die if I didn't do something. If I didn't realize I was killing myself, killing the thing that was keeping me alive.

"After Sai told me about what happened? I cried for hours sensei. I couldn't hold it back anymore. I realized just what I had done. I tried to find him but he was gone. He left with his face like that to beg the Raikage. To beg him to spare Sasuke. For me. For himself. It doesn't matter anymore. All that mattered was that Naruto was hurt. He was just hurt so bad. I'm the medic sensei. I'm supposed to keep him safe. To heal him when he's hurt. Hokage-sama would tell me to run a diagnostic, figure out the cause of it. Well I did sensei. I ran one and figured out that I was hurting him. I just kept doing it over and over again." Sakura used an arm to wipe out whatever had got in her eye. "How do you fix something like that sensei?" she blinked back tears that she hoped Kakashi didn't see as she spoke. "How do you heal someone who you keep making hurt themselves? Like some sick genjutsu. I'm not supposed to do that sensei. I'm not supposed to hurt Naruto, sensei. I'm supposed to help him. Not cause him so much pain. Sai told me what he looked like. What they did to him, what Naruto let them do to him do before Sai had to stop it. Sai, realized what was so wrong before I did, and he just had to stop it sensei. Naruto just let it go so far. He would've let it go too far."

"Sakura things were outside of your control then. You needed to watch over Tsunade-sama and see to the wounded." Kakashi tried to explain to her.

"I'm the medic and I was killing my teammate sensei. I was killing Naruto. He somehow beat Pain and Sakura Haruno was killing him." Sakura continued on as if she hadn't heard him.

"What happened wasn't your fault Sakura." Kakashi tried to reason with the girl again. "None of it was your fault. It was all Naruto's stubbornness and his never giving up attitude."

"I gave him a curse sensei. I just kept hurting him and hurting him." she wanted to shout and just barely managed to keep her voice only slightly louder than normal. Her voice lowered before she spoke again. "I was willing to put him through hell just because I thought I would be happy in the end. I thought that all Sasuke needed was time. That once we found him he would come back with us. That everything would go back to normal. But that can't happen. Naruto will just keep putting himself through hell because of that stupid promise."

"Like I said before Sakura. Naruto made that promise to himself just as much as he made it to you. He needs to bring Sasuke back just as much as you want to bring him back."

"Wanted sensei." Sakura corrected him.

"What?"

"I wanted to bring Sasuke back. Now I hope I never see him again. Because I know he'll just hurt Naruto again. He'll hurt us all over again because Sasuke stopped caring about us a long time ago."

"Sakura."

"You told us something on our first day sensei, remember?" Kakashi kept silent, knowing the exact words that Sakura was going to say. The same words he constantly spoke to himself to make sure he never forgot them even if he forgot everything else. "Those who break the rules are trash but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash." She threw the words back in his face, and they hurt even if he had been expecting them. Had tried to prepare himself for them. "I know I'm bad for what I've done to Naruto. I broke so many rules I can't even count them all. But Sasuke? Sasuke's worse than the worse trash."

She stopped there. Remaining silent as Kakashi thought over what she had said.

"I see." Kakashi rose to his feet. "I won't try to dissuade you but just think about what you're doing. I don't want to see any more people I care about in pain if I can help it. Wake Yamato when you're done with your watch." He left without another word, walking off beyond the ring of light the fire had created.

Sakura was fine to dwell in her solitude. She didn't deserve to be happy for what she did. She wiped away the tears gathering in her eyes and grimaced at the liquid on her hand.

She stuck her hand in the fire, burning away the tears and giving herself a reason to cry instead.

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 **AN: I'm not bashing Sakura. Personally I reread some of the chapters around this point in the manga and realized just how much stuff she was shouldering. Her teacher was in a coma, Sasuke had dived into the abyss, and Naruto basically tried to sacrifice himself for Sasuke. Then Sai tells her that she essentially gave him a curse that won't stop hurting him. I know I've probably missed a few things but people need to give her a break. Oh and then there's a war before she's really able to take some time and think about all of the stuff going on in her life.**

 **That last line kind of sums of where she mentally is right now. She can't justify just crying because she's sad. She would rather say it was from pain then from everything that has happened to her. Really her whole speech to Kakashi was one massive confession for all the wrongs she felt that she's done.**

 **How was Kakashi? Some may dislike his seemingly hands off approach to something he feels is wrong but he's the only other person in the group Sakura would say something like this to. I needed her to have someone to talk to and he might be OOC because I prioritized that first.**

 _ **Review responses**_

 **Kumikocr: Yeah it does complicate things. That I can promise you.**

 **Do Not Feed The Author: It's probably going to get sadder before it gets sweeter honestly. They are definitely confused though.**

 **UzumakiDavis27: They are both conflicted and here's an update.**

 **Harmiona: Everything is now going down a different path.**

 **LegendaryWriterS: Sakura does love Naruto but she's trying to force the relationship more than anything because she's terrified of him dying. Maybe PM me to explain a few more of your points.**

 **Wyle23: I'm glad you like it and I got your attention real good.**

 **mentalist777: Hopefully you liked this one. Again Sakura does love Naruto but the key point here is that she's trying to force it to become something it isn't right now. Maybe if she gave it some time but again she's not thinking straight.**

 **Averum: I'm glad I was able to convey what they were feeling. And it was hard to right after the 'high'. This is really a second one that wouldn't let me go to sleep until it had been written. Also it's still a high chance of some darker stuff before it gets lighter. The main story line shall feel ripples as well.**


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